White Punks on Dope

The nine essential Web rules:

1. Don't click on anything red or violet.
2. If it moves, it's evil.
3. Fucking and freebies are forever.
4. Avoid the words "homepage" and "guestbook" (they're ungrammatical).
5. There is always more to download. Always more after that.
6. Multimedia stinks without an olfactory channel.
7. Google.
8. Buy more free stuff.
9. Look at the lower right of a page for a change.